Getting to know each other
This short game helps us build relationships and tests our limits of trust.
- Category: RE:SOURCE sessions
- When: 09 January 2012
In our first RE:SOURCE session, we got into groups and played a game to help get to know each other. In groups, someone picks a card and reads out their choice of four questions, each of which requires a different level of trust and intimacy for others in the group to want to share an answer. If anyone does not want to answer that question, they raise a hand, and another question from the card must be chosen instead. We set a time limit of 15 minutes for the groups to get to know as much about each other as possible.
(See handout and question card downloads)
This was an experiment to see how levels of trust might grow in a short time (they seemed to - people grew to ask and answer more intimate questions), how this is affected by the size of group (smaller groups find it easier to go for the high trust options) and what happens when newcomers join the group (this can keep a group on lower intimacy questions for longer).
The game can be a useful structure for groups, not just to get to know each other better, but to reflect on the process and why we set ourselves limits in the questions we ask each other.
Some seemed to feel frustrated that others would not share as much as they wished to share, and others recognised this situation from real life - it is much easier to keep lots of superficial relationships going, and hard to build real trust and intimacy with a large number of people.
We also considered that newcomers can often feel that church is "cliquey" and hard to break into. New people don't know what is going on, and people who have been around a bit longer may feel uncomfortable as they regulate themselves and what they talk about in the presence of newcomers. This was a situation we managed to replicate in just a few minutes of game time! It is a constant challenge and opportunity for us to welcome and include new people, and we need to think about how we can do this better.